Emily
by YakuKikyo
Summary: Kevin Regnard and Break Xerxes... Two different people… With nothing in common except the body and soul.


First time ever I'm writing a story in English... It's the fourth language I'm learning (French being my mother tongue), so please don't be too harsh with me.^^' There are a lot of things I can't express in English yet, but I can only improve if I'm writing, right ? I've got the help of a friend for the usual mistakes and such, but of course there still may be some.

Anyway, this story happens between the time Break becomes a servant of the Rainsworth family and the time he meets Oz. Moreover, he's in a "transition" between Kevin Regnard or Break Xerxes, so he's neither one nor the other... Same for Sharon, we all change with time, so she isn't exactly how she is in the current manga, but for both I hope it isn't too OOC, even if you take in the fact they aren't exactly how they are in the manga right now.

**Note :** I really have no idea which genre this fanfiction is, so sorry if I chose the wrong one.

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**Emily**

It had been several years now since he had become a servant of the Rainsworth household, and several more years since he had come out of the Abyss. Those years hadn't been easy for him; besides the loss of his left eye, which still left a light but stinging pain, he had to deal with a world he barely recognized, and his nights were filled with guilt and regrets. He had sacrificed everything for the Sinclair family. He had killed in a hypocritical hope to bring them back. Despite what he had told himself, he hadn't done it for the Sinclair family. He hadn't done it for the only survivor, the youngest daughter. He hadn't even done it because it was – no, **had** been – his duty as a knight. He had done it for himself, and only himself, in order to live in a world where people would not look at him as a failure. To live in a world where he would not carry the weight of his masters' death. So selfish…

However, the world seemed to have its own kind of justice. As desired, the past had been changed, by the Will Of The Abyss. And the price for it was worse than he could have ever imagined; even though the Sinclair family had been able to live four years longer, they were all eventually killed, and the one who should have never died had been dragged into the Abyss… She had surely become a chain herself by now… In the end, all he had gotten was more guilt and regrets. Even after all those years, they were in his heart. It was anything but wrong, yet he would never be able to go on if he kept clinging to them.

-Break, we've arrived…

The servant was cut off from his thoughts when he heard the young voice. He silently drew the curtains back and looked to the old mansion he had lived in so many years ago. The sky was clouded and it was surely going to rain soon, but it didn't matter, he wasn't going to stay here for long anyway… Though that wasn't what he was focusing on right now. The mansion seemed…different from his memories… He did recognize it, but…it seemed darker and…haunted… Well, it was normal, right? No one had been living here for decades, after all…

The carriage slowed and finally stopped in front of the main doors. The white haired servant got off the carriage first and gave a quick look to the overgrown, wild front garden before helping his red haired mistress to get down. She watched the house in silence for a while, before smiling to the man.

-I have something to do in town, go in already. I'll be waiting for you here. said the thirteen-years-old looking girl.

He nodded and watched her walk away with the coachman. A lady should never be alone.

She had been the one who found him when he came out, half dead, of the Abyss, and since then she had always enjoyed his company. Even when he had been rejecting everyone around him. Sharon and her mother had saved him, his soul and his heart. And with time he had slowly started to see that smiling and happy girl as his daughter. Some people would say she was a sort of replacement of the youngest Sinclair daughter – he had always been close to her too – and, well, they weren't entirely wrong. At least at the beginning. Pretending otherwise would have been pointless.

When she disappeared from his sight, he looked at the mansion again. Wild flowers, broken windows, fissures on the walls, everything which reminded him how much time had passed while he had been in the depth of the Abyss. He really felt like a stranger… But he had a purpose for coming here, and he wasn't going to turn around now ! He finally moved and walked towards the broken open doors. As soon as he entered the house, dust assaulted his nostrils and eyes. He took one step backward and coughed a little, one of his gloved hands before his mouth and nose. He then glared at the running rodent who was the reason for this attack.

-Filthy rat ! he thought.

He had always disliked rodents with a passion, without any particular reason, actually.

He cast a glance over the dark and dusty corridor before he began to slowly walk around. He wasn't searching for anything in particular. At least not anything material. He was searching for himself, as much for his new self than for his old self. When he had agreed to become a servant of the Rainsworth family he had decided to take a new identity, Xerxes Break, and with this he had wanted to start a new life, but it wasn't that easy. Kevin Regnard, the man he used to be, was still stuck in him, unable to find peace. He didn't want to deny his past, nor was he expecting to erase his guilt and regrets. It was useless to even try to. However, until Kevin Regnard stopped screaming in him, he would never be able to be Xerxes Break. And if he didn't, then…

He climbed up the damaged stairs. Even though everything around him was broken, he could still remember how everything used to be: full of light, happiness and laughter, nothing that could have predicted their misery. The Sinclair's daughters watching him while he was training outside, the youngest of them asking him to bring her a present whenever he came back from each mission, his master and his wife laughing when she had pushed him into the fountain, the older daughter begging him to give her letter to her lover… That had been Kevin Regnard's life… It wasn't Break Xerxes' life… Kevin Regnard had two eyes, Break Xerxes had only one. Kevin Regnard was a knight of the Sinclair household, Break Xerxes was a servant of the Rainsworth household. Kevin Regnard was a killer, Break Xerxes was a member of Pandora. Two different people… With nothing in common except the body and soul.

He heard a stifled sound under his feet. He looked down and saw a doll. He picked it up and wiped off the excess of dust on it.

-It looks like Emily has forgotten you… he told to the old doll.

Red hair, blue skin, a purple knot, a pink, long-sleeved shirt, a round head and paw-like hands. He remembered that doll for a very simple reason; back then he, Kevin Regnard, hadn't understood why his young mistress had wanted such a creepy doll that much. Furthermore, it had been her favorite until she had lost it. It was surprising she hadn't taken it with her if she had been able to find it again… Even if she had become an illegal contractor…

Doll in one hand, he inspected Emily's bedroom in an attempt to find other dolls, a letter, or any other sign of the old times, but there were none… Besides the broken furniture, there was nothing left to prove the existence of the Sinclairs in this house. Burglars and beggars surely had done their work properly; only that doll remained. Well, it was the ugliest he had ever seen, so he could easily understand them.

He heard the sky rumbling outside and decided it was time for him to leave this place. He took a few steps towards the door before he stopped again, eye locked on the doll for a moment. He looked around once more, searching for a place where he could put it, but even the bed had disappeared, and the remaining furniture was too severely damaged to put anything on it. He hesitated… Of course, simply putting it on the floor, at the place where he had found it, was the easiest solution, but…

…

Sharon was looking at the rapidly darkening sky, wondering how long it would take before it started raining. She could already see the lightning and hear the growing rumbles of thunder. She had been here for half an hour and her servant was still in the mansion, even though she had been away for at least an hour... She speculated on what he could do in there, though it was easy to figure out. He had been living there, he was surely remembering the old times… And maybe searching for something to link him to his past… At first, she had thought of going with him in the mansion, but once they arrived, she had felt he needed to be alone. She would have felt like an annoyance if she had followed him… She didn't belong to this place, anyway…

She blinked a few times when she saw something moving through the broken open doors, and the second after Break came out of the dark house, walking towards her. She called him and walked as calmly as possible. A lady shouldn't run. She met him with a wide smile and asked him how it had been before she noticed an odd toy in one of his gloved hands.

-What's this ? she asked, surprised by the unusual appearance of the doll.

-This ? he remained silent for a while before answering, this is Emily !

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First time ever Emily, the doll, is important in a fanfiction ? XD I don't know since I'm more a Gil (and GilOz XD) fan. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Break simply saw Emily one day on a market and randomly took it or Then you'll ask where that idea came from ? From the song Love Song Requiem, and more precisly : "Emily will find a better place to fall asleep", don't ask why but the idea for this fanfiction suddenly came into my mind when I listened to that And I even made a small video with it (based on this fanfiction too XD).

**Video Title :** Emily Will Find A Better Place To Fall Asleep

Anyway, all those who read it until the end will get a cockie~ ! And I hope you liked it too.^^


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